The Courage to Keep Going: How Daily Reps Beat Rejection for ADHD Entrepreneurs
Here's what's interesting. Rejection is an evolutionary thing.
Ever found yourself completely paralyzed by the fear that someone might say "no"?
Been there.
Last week, I got rejected. Nothing dramatic—just a small, polite "no" to something I'd been hoping for. And you know what? I had to sit with that feeling, process it, and then... teach a class about rejection.
The universe has quite a sense of humor sometimes.
But here's the thing: In my line of work, rejection happens every single day. Because I'm putting myself out there every day to reach my goals, and that's exactly what I’d like to help you do.
What's Rejection Stopping You From Doing?
Last week in my UO Coaching Program, I asked everyone this question: “What's rejection stopping you from doing?”.
The responses came faster than I've ever seen:
Starting
Reaching out to people
Writing (especially that "terrible first draft")
Putting ideas out there
Building deeper relationships
Selling a product
Sound familiar? Maybe you're nodding along right now.
Here's what's interesting. Rejection is an evolutionary thing. Studies show that your brain reacts to rejection the same way it reacts to physical pain [1]. When researchers told participants they'd been rejected (even in completely fictional scenarios), their brains released the same supportive, soothing neurotransmitters that appear when you hit your thumb with a hammer.
Your brain is literally saying, "This is bad. Very bad. We need to make you feel better immediately."
No wonder rejection feels so awful. No wonder we avoid it.
What Are You Afraid Of?
When I dug deeper with my group, asking what they were specifically afraid would happen if they put themselves out there:
Being told no
Someone thinking you're crazy for even asking
Failing or being wrong
Letting people down
Being vulnerable
As I watched everyone's responses come in, what struck me most was how we were all nodding along to each other's fears. This is a universal human experience, but for those of us with ADHD, rejection sensitivity can be particularly intense [2].
How We See Rejection vs. How It Actually Is
Here's how most of us envision rejection:
We picture ourselves standing on a soapbox, sharing our idea or request, while everyone around us holds pitchforks, scowling and saying, "No! It's terrible! Nobody wants your stuff!"
Then there's how our biggest supporters (hi, Gran!) see it:
They imagine everyone showering us with flowers and enthusiasm, thinking our first draft is our best draft, and that we never need feedback because we're simply perfect.
But here's how rejection actually goes most of the time:
Some people say yes. Some people say no. Most people are just busy doing their own thing. There are no pitchforks. There are rarely even love hearts. Just people making decisions based on their own needs and circumstances.
It's a combination of pluses and minuses. A couple of pluses here and a minus over there. Most responses aren't even personal: "Yeah, that's cool" or "Not for me, thanks." No big deal. Just not their thing.
The Power of Reps
If there's one thing I want you to take away from this article, it's this:
Invest in the reps.
What does that mean?
It means deciding what actions move you toward your goals and then committing to doing those actions repeatedly—regardless of the outcome.
Maybe it's:
Posting a message every week
Writing three emails to potential clients
Writing one "bad" page every day
Sending out one proposal per week
Making one uncomfortable ask daily
The focus isn't on who says yes or no. The focus is on doing the reps.
Congratulate yourself for showing up. Reward yourself for doing the work. The outcome will take care of itself.
You don't know who will be the next "yes" when you reach out. You don't know what the next opportunity will be. But you do know that if you don't do the reps, you won't get the result you want.
It's such a simple concept, but the simple concepts often have the biggest impact.
Building Resilience One Rep at a Time
One of my members shared how crushing it feels when he puts significant effort into crafting a thoughtful proposal, only to get a flat rejection with no feedback. The wind gets knocked out of his sails completely.
His approach to building resilience?
Give himself a pause. Before throwing in the towel, he takes a beat and asks, "Why is this happening?" He doesn't act while emotions are high. He waits until he can think more clearly.
Another member suggested using AI as a sounding board. She dumps everything into ChatGPT—the conversation, what she said she was doing, how it went—and finds it surprisingly helpful for gaining perspective when emotions are strong.
For those building businesses, yet another member shared an insightful perspective: rejection at work doesn't bother her as much because she's clear on who her ideal client is. When someone says no, she can easily determine if they weren't the right fit in the first place. That clarity makes rejection much less personal.
Is it an unqualified "no" from someone who should have been perfect for what you're offering? That might be feedback worth examining. Or was this person just not the right fit? That's not rejection—that's proper business alignment.
Don't Let the Rejections Outweigh the Wins
One challenge with ADHD is that our working memory can make us quickly forget positive feedback while negative experiences stay front and center.
Keep a folder on your phone with screenshots of nice messages
Create a easy-open document for positive feedback
Use voice memos to quickly record compliments
The key is making it as frictionless as possible. When you receive something positive, immediately capture it—don't overthink it or feel awkward. Just screenshot, save, and move on. Having this collection to revisit during tough times can be incredibly grounding.
Remember: It's Rarely About You
Perhaps the most powerful insight is this: 90% of the time, rejection has nothing to do with you.
Most people you interact with—whether strangers, work colleagues, or potential clients—are the main characters in their own stories. You're just a person providing information in their space. Whether they sign up for your offering or sponsor your idea has very little to do with you and everything to do with their problems, priorities, and circumstances.
If you can shift your first thought from "What's wrong with me?" to "I wonder what's going on with them?" you'll find rejection much easier to navigate.
Your Challenge This Week
This week, I want you to focus on doing the reps—whatever those look like for you:
Doing outreach work you've been afraid to do
Writing those imperfect emails
Having the vulnerable conversations
Making the ask you've been putting off
When you do these reps, don't focus on the outcome. Focus on the fact that you did it. That's the win.
Remember: let others disqualify you—don't disqualify yourself.
Wishing you focused, balanced growth,
Skye
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References
Eisenberger, N. I. (2011). Why rejection hurts: What social neuroscience has revealed about the brain’s response to social rejection.
Ginapp, C. M., Greenberg, N. R., MacDonald-Gagnon, G., Angarita, G. A., Bold, K. W., & Potenza, M. N. (2023). “Dysregulated not deficit”: A qualitative study on symptomatology of ADHD in young adults. PloS one, 18(10), e0292721.